Friday, 1 July 2011

Overwhelmed

Sometimes, the whole thing is overwhelming.  Exchanging my Rhiannon time for work time is starting to take its toll.   The question becomes whether it is realistic and sustainable to maintain this kind of pace indefinitely.  The answer is obvious; it’s a total “No”.  But easier said than done.  I enjoy both of the roles I’m doing, I have a favourite, but it’s the one that at the moment is not enough to pay the bills.

On a different note, I was cursing this blog the other day.  When you stop to blog, you stop to think.  Stopping to think turned out to be quite painful.  I’ve never wanted to be Rhiannon more in my life than I did in the hours following my last blog.  I didn’t do it in the end – mainly because I was too busy and as I noted before, I’m at least 100 miles from my wardrobe!    

It was an odd experience bordering on grief with sadness and loneliness mixed in – very strange.  Maybe ditching the girl isn’t going to be quite so easy after all?

4 comments:

  1. I hope things get better for you.
    Look after yourself.
    Karen x

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  2. I'm afraid the girl is very difficult to suppress, isn't she. Don't push her too far.

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  3. I always used to call it distraction therapy - it did work for me .... for a while anyway!

    I used to deny myself everything but then, when the pressure became too much, the 'bang' was huge. I do wonder whether it would have been better for me to have allowed myself a little lattitude but would the result have been any different ? Not sure.

    I feel for you so much Rhiannon - there are no easy choices just wish there was more I could say to help more.

    My heart goes out to you.

    Becca

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  4. Thinking can become really circular without some sort of outlet. That is one benefit of blogging for me anyway. Once it is in the blog, I can move on. Unfortunately, one thought often simply leads to another until we really deal with the over-riding theme, somehow.

    It feels like there is a psychic connection going on here Rhiannon. I just posted on my own version of grief and sadness to do with becoming myself too briefly.

    Like Karen says, look after yourself.

    Halle
    xox

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