As you will have seen, I have been trying to get my confidence levels back up and to begin to go out more again in Rhiannon-mode. I’m a firm believer in the idea of trying to make an easy start. Why tackle Mount Everest when you haven’t climbed the local hill?
The target of the next step in my ‘easy start’ was Pink Punters (a LGBT bar based in Milton Keynes, UK). As well as being known for having brilliant security and a zero tolerance approach to homophobia and transphobia, it has a (cheap and cheerful) hotel within a 2-minute walk from its front door. I have been planning the trip for a while and two cis-gendered girl-friends had kindly agreed to join me.
I got ready in my room: make up done, perfume squirted, nails polished, new wig placed on (still loving it), purple dress, nude tights, black clutch bag, black patent leather block heels and some sparkly jewellery. Accessorised by a glass or two of nice wine / dutch courage and I was ready.
There were lots of great highlights to the experience, but the first was simple. My two friends, L and T (who were wonderful the whole night), texted me to say that they were ready and so I went up to the room they were sharing. I got to join in the getting-ready-to-go-out ritual that I have longed to participate in rather than just watch. They complimented me on my make up and dress and how feminine I looked. T was still doing her hair, L was still in her socks and was joking about wearing them out tonight. It was relaxed girl time fun. Cheese straws, humous and a touch more wine was being consumed and I just felt part of the girl group rather than the outsider. We talked and laughed and eventually, at a fashionable time of night, got ready to go out.
Heels on all around, I took a deep breath and walked out the door. We passed several people who stared [am I really that attractive :o)] but I smiled and walked on. Cleavage out, lots of teeth on show. We took the short walk to the club and down to the door. Before we went in, L took a couple of photos for your viewing pleasure.
One of the early things that I put in my blog, here in fact, was that I always wanted to go to a club as a woman and dance. The night finally arrived and after we had talked for hours, we hit the dance floor. It was packed and I have to say the crowd was young. Made me feel very maternal!! There were only one or two other trans ladies there who appeared to be enjoying themselves too. We found a spot and honestly, I’m not sure that my dancing was much improved, but I did enjoy it more. Some of the self consciousness I feel as a male disappeared very quickly and I was shaking my booty like the best of them. Every so often I’d get excited to hear a song I knew and then they’d do something weirdly clubby to it. L and T danced with the confidence I expect from girls. I used the night as a chance to watch how girls were dancing and to emulate. I think that this is going to involve a learning curve. Does that mean I’m going to have to go back? Yes. The sacrifices we make for our art eh? :o)
All good things come to an end and eventually we got off the dance floor and went back to the bar. One final drink of the night ordered and we looked at our watches for the first time to realise that it was 2am! Standing up this time, we chatted, finished our drinks and left. My feet were killing me. I really need to work on having heels on for longer. Once back on the carpeted floor of the hotel, they were straight off! Goodnights were said and it was back to my room. Make up off, nightdress on and such a happy smile from a happy girl and sleep.