Sometimes, I’m just confused by my other half. She’ll divorce me if she found out that I’m continuing with any vestige of my female life. But then she asks me a question that relies on my knowledge of the female arts to help me answer.
We were watching the news and there was a lady who was being interviewed on an ad hoc basis about some serious expert scientific content and, into the mix, who’s make up could have been better. I was listening to what she was saying and she was really interesting. But before I considered what I was doing, I impulsively commented that, “Her make up doesn’t really seem to work very well for her.” I’m not presenting myself as an expert, nor was I trying to be mean at all, but there were a few problems with it. Mrs A, instead of sneering as I expected, or providing an ominous silence, asked me what I thought the problem was.
Not that I have been a close observer of make up for very long time (ok, maybe I have) or that I am opinionated (ok, maybe a little) but immediately, I gave a thorough analysis. Her foundation needed to be slightly heavier and applied more thoroughly, some extra concealer was needed as she had dark rings under her eyes and some spots that needed covering. She also had a colour of lipstick usually reserved for a party nights together with the shiniest lip gloss I’ve seen for a while. It was just incongruent with what she was talking about. She had a nice face and a couple of changes could have made a big difference.
Anyway, that aside, Mrs A responded with, “Oh” and then said no more. I have to own up to being slightly gutted. I'm not sure why, but I thought, “why did you bother asking.” Unwittingly - again - I have shown a level knowledge she thinks I shouldn’t have, on a subject about which a ‘man’ should just be ignorant. I felt guilty for knowing these things. Again. Can I go back an hour and press the 'undo' button please?