Friday, 22 December 2017

Its been a while...

I’m not really even expecting that anyone will remember me and read this, but I did think that it was about time my long neglected blog got dusted off and at least received a festive update because, ‘wow’, its been a heck of a year!

I’m really sure where to start, but I guess the big news is that finally, after so many ups and downs, I did, in fact, begin my social transition.   From 29th August, I started living in female presentation full-time and it has genuinely been an amazing experience on every level and every front.  You can imagine, that it ended up being a very complex and challenging thing to do, but has been completely worth it.


I knew that work would be ok internally, but I was unsure about how our customers might react to the process.  They dispelled all my fears very quickly.  I had to come out to around 30 customers and none of them had any kind of issue with my transition, if anything it has strengthened the relationships that I have with them.  People have just been so fantastic and hugely supportive - even more than I expected.  Out of sensitivity to my family, we didn’t want to make a big splash of it, so just updated my details on our company website, changed LinkedIn (without notifications) and eventually just included it in our Christmas cards.  People have been finding out in dribs and drabs and that works well for me.

One client even gave me an opportunity I never sought.  They are a government agency and they asked me to do a video interview for trans awareness week.  I’d thought I’d like to do that in the future, but I’ve received so much amazing help, that I felt it was really important to pass it on now.  So I stressed I’m not an expert, I only have my simple story and dived in.  It went live on their Intranet and the feedback was both fantastic and very kind.

I had a number of things that worried me before I transitioned.  Client sales meetings where people had not met me before, delivering presentations to large groups (I can often address groups of 100+ people), going to the supermarket, travelling on public transport, etc.  The list was finite, but super scary at the time.   I’ve ticked them all off and really don’t pay much attention now to them anymore - what a difference a few months can make eh?

The bigger issue for me was how my kids would respond.  I feared rejection from them.  But in the end, the fact that I cried when I told them because it was so moving was the biggest thing that shocked them.  Their responses ranged from, ‘its fine’ to ‘wow, you look really fashionable’.  Genuinely was a proud moment realising that they are young men who are so accepting and kind.  Mrs A has continued to struggle, although her issues have been somewhat reduced by the acceptance of the children.  But she has made it clear that she’ll never accept, ‘the other woman in the relationship’ which I can understand.  It distresses me to know that I’ve hurt her, for all that this wasn’t my first choice either.

Medically, the wait for the NHS continues: I’m still on hormones, still having laser, not still losing weight, but that starts again next year.   I’ve moved to a new town, begun to build a life, been promoted at work, been accepted generally.  I would hate to pretend that its easy and that everyone has a simple, happy life post transition, but I have been very privileged to received so much love from friends and complete strangers every day.  Even today when changing my name with yet another company, the lady on the phone told me how fantastic it was and that she wished me well.  I will be forever grateful.

Thank you for reading - and as I await my first Christmas, presents having arrived that are for me as a female for the first time, I can’t stop pinching myself and half expecting to wake up from a happy dream.  I hope that you all have a very very Merry Christmas.

14 comments:

  1. Wow indeed! Well done you! Fantastic to hear your story and everything that's happened. I shall be raising a glass to you this Christmas, Rhi!

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    1. Thank you Joanna, it has been a tough time in missing my family in that I'm not with them all the time. And I hugely miss Mrs A, but it was the right decision. I've been catching up on your blog too - see you are still having a tough time. Sorry. :o( x

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  2. Some people you don't forget. You check in from time to time, and see how they're getting on. So good to read that things are going your way. Keep being awesome. L x

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    1. Thank you Lynn :o) - really appreciated. xx

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  3. What an amazing post. So happy for you and wishing you a wonderful life ahead. Merry Christmas. Sue x

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    1. Thank you Sue - it is so nice to be finally getting on with things. Hope that you had a great Christmas too and that your 2018 is amazing! xx

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  4. Not forgotten at all, Rhi! Earlier this month, I realized you had been absent a long while and thought I should write you. Especially since your last post was labeled Part One!

    Very happy to know that you finally listened to your heart and got on with the inevitable. You sound so much happier.

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    1. Thank you Leslie Ann - it felt nice blogging again - like putting on a comfy cardigan :o). Ironically, what was to come in Part 2 now feels like small fry whereas back then it felt huge. Amazing how quickly perspectives change.

      So much happier now - still hard knowing what I've left behind and Christmas was bittersweet - the joy of being with my family tinged with more than a little bit of sadness at Mrs A's sadness. It does feel like it has been inevitably stalking me for some time...

      Hope that you are well too Mrs, been a while since your last missive I note. :o) xx

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  5. Good for you Rhiannon none of this is easy but then I suspect you are just happy finally being able to be yourself. All the best for 2018!

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    1. Thank you Joanna, I really appreciate it. It has not been easy, but the people around me have also not made it hard. And the deep sense of joy and peace from being myself is completely priceless.

      Happy new year to you - and I look forward to continuing to read your musings.

      Take care x

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  6. As Lynn said we haven't forgotten you girl! I'm so happy for you. A lovely surprise and we are very proud of how you have come so far. Let's see what the new year brings for you and all of us. Keep blogging Rhi, your story is important not only for you but all of us.

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    1. Thank you Abi - so great to wake up this morning to a new year - can't wait to get started on it! Thank you for your kind words and support Mrs xx

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  7. I didn't forget you Rhiannon, I've kept stopping by your blog to see how you're doing.

    Good to read that you're in a happy place and things are going okay.

    Best Wishes for 2018 from me.

    Best Wishes

    Lotte

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    1. Thank you so much Lotte - and great to hear from you. Its great to see you blogging again too!

      Hope that you have an amazing 2018 - take care,
      Rhi x

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