Monday, 13 February 2012

Weird moments

Being transgendered does lead you to some pretty odd moments. Yesterday was no exception.  Much to my genuine happiness, Mrs A has begun to wear make up.  She has phenomenal skin and looks much younger than her age, so she has always avoided it in the past.   But a combination of us both nearing 40 and children keeping her, in particular, up at night has led to some darker circles appearing below her eyes.  As she uses darkish eye shadow and has fair skin just below the brow, the total effect is that her eyes look like they are more sunken than they are and that her eyebrows protrude slightly.  

Noticing this, I wasn’t sure that it was actually a good idea to say anything.  For a start, I didn’t want to remind her that my knowledge of woman’s make up is quite good and lead her to start asking me difficult questions.  But, with no attempt on my behalf to raise the subject, a discussion began about her make up.  I pointed out that I’d noticed she was wearing some and asked whether I was allowed to comment.  It went slightly weird for a moment, so I pulled back and didn’t say anything.  

Working in my office a little later in the day, she came in and asked me what I was going to say about her make up.  So I basically gave her the benefit of my knowledge and we talked about the kinds of products she could use to help reduce the problem and how to apply it.  I said that she should get some and she said she would think about it and left the conversation there.

Given that she is very anti-Rhiannon, it was a genuinely weird conversation to have with her to be honest.  If you are against your spouse having gender issues and wearing clothes and make up, would you even enter into that conversation?  While we were finishing talking, there was a moment when I almost asked whether she wanted to borrow some of my product.  I have the same problem and use this great product that was recommended to me.  But I didn’t.  I really did think that would make the conversation go in the wrong direction: I’m not supposed to have anything at all.  I got rid of it all remember?

Its almost like she likes that I have a feminine character and that I know lots about clothes and make up, but that I’m not allowed to express it at all.  Except when it’s helpful to her of course.   Still it was really nice to be able to talk about it with her, even if it was just fleetingly.  Part of me is tempted to read too much into it: that she is coming round to the idea.  But seriously, that isn’t going to happen.  But it was nice to have five minutes knowing how the other half live!


  1. Good story! My wife, while still not wanting to condone my issues, does have a lot more respect for my fashion sense and advice. She will ask me questions that would be out of the expertise range of the average Joe. I agree that being allowed to share some hard-won knowledge is very gratifying.

  2. I am never asked for advice. I just get called a teenager for buying too much!

  3. IMO good advice is good advice, no matter who gives it! Well, I draw the line a Yoda and skin care, but hopefully you get the drift.

    Maybe Mrs R is against the idea of it, but I think that you showing her you can talk about it without mentioning anything trans... well, fingers crossed it's a good sign!

  4. The Mrs does trust my fashion sense for her quite a lot - bizarrely I buy most of her clothes for her. She hates shopping and I know her tastes really well, so I regularly use Christmas, birthdays and holidays as a chance to top up her wardrobe - and she pretty much always likes what I buy her. She does buy things as well, but I must have an eye for it!

    @Becca - that's really funny!! I can imagine you being teenager like in your buying patterns!

    @Lynn - Don't knock the Yoda look until you've tried it!!

    @Leslie Ann - I just don't get why all wives don't want a t-girl around, we are just so much more useful that the average partner. And in my case, she'd still be the one who was prettier than me cos she is so sweet!