But its made me realise that there are areas in my life where I really need to take control. And that at the moment, I’m not doing that. At all. I want to change my story. I have an amazing story that I want for my life, but its not the story that I currently have. The song from Matilda talks about the inevitability of stories. For example that Jack and Jill were always going to fall down the hill and that ‘it was written in the stars’ that Romeo and Juliet would die. She asks why didn’t they just change their stories. They could have done. Surely? What would I say to Matilda about my story?
I’ve talked about this before, but the thing really that is wrong with my story, in the main, is that I seem to largely refuse to take any kind of responsibility for it. There are only two situations where I get things done. When someone else is chasing me for it. Or where there is a deadline date that is within the next 24 hours that I’m scared about. That is a sad state of affairs. I almost never get things done in advance of deadlines and could even be accused of being late on occasions. Where its down to me, things tend to just drift.
I wish I could be different - I wish I planned and thought ahead - and therein lies the problem. So I’m exploring ways of planning around taking a different approach. I’ve realised that my ‘fire fighting’ of issues is becoming such a cause of stress to me and others, that I want to stop it.
In this case the thing that’s bothering me the most, that I allow to drift, is my weight, exercise and alcohol consumption. All of them, with the exception of exercise are too high. And I’m not tackling it because no-one is chasing me for it or chastising me because its out of control. My whole story is one where since being young I hated exercise. From 16 I began to yoyo weight. And since about 25, I’ve drunk too much, too regularly. I really have had enough.
So I want to change the story. And I'm going to report on how the story is changing right here. I'm going to address these three things and I'm going to put how I'm doing on-line. It is only going to be one measly blog post per month, but I am going to report on my progress. If you don’t want to read it, you don’t have to, but your kind support would be appreciated of course. And although there is a danger of it being a car crash of a blog, I am going to report on three statistical figures:
- How much weight have I lost during the month.
- How many periods of exercise have I undertaken during the month (period = any time of physical exertion over 20 minutes)
- How many units of alcohol I have consumed over the course of the month.
I’m going to be brutally honest about those three things. You don’t need to do anything, but I think that some of you I consider to be friends and I know you’ll just stop by and look. Given my determination, I hope that I’ll even get the odd yay for my now inevitable success.
It feels like the story is starting to change already.