Wow, what a start to the year! So, I’m really sorry that I’ve not blogged and have had to resort to a bumper blog to bring you up to speed! I have had the craziest, busiest start to the year that I think I’ve ever known. For those who know me, that is really saying something! My feet have honestly not touched the ground. I’ve been up and down the byways and highways of the UK relentlessly - and have to say that despite another few weeks of this continuing ahead of me, I’m really tired. 42 year old lasses shouldn’t put their bodies through this stress!
That said, I’ve also been moving forward on the Rhiannon front too - and in the middle of all of this busyness, I’ve managed several outings which have been fantastic. Several days have already been spent being me and it has made me so much happier. That I seem so happy is the number one comment I get these days. Clearly, that is also intensely confusing as it continues to raise the thorny issue of transition. Thorny not because I don’t want it, I’ve realised that I’ve never wanted anything more with my whole heart, but that the implications for both home and work are huge. Conversations are looming that terrify me. But I know that for my piece of mind and sanity I need to get on with it. My counsellor has agreed to write a referral document confirming that he agrees with my self-diagnosis of gender dysphoria. He is asking my Doctor to think about moving me to the next stage of transition. So assuming that my system can cope, I could start my hormones in the next few months. He can’t believe how much I’ve changed and grown in confidence over the last 6-8 weeks alone. To help that along, I’ve continued to lose weight - and despite an early year slump (just busy), I’ve got another 4lbs off, so I’m up to 3 stone 4 lbs lost (46 lbs / 21 kgs). I’m aiming to lose 10 stone in total by the end of this year. So far, this means I have dropped 3 dress sizes which is really exciting!
I have continued to discreetly bring a few people into my circle of trust and they have been very supportive including the wisest person I’ve ever met - an amazing lady who in her early 20s already has the most incredible insights. She has made several observations that have had a huge impact on changing my thinking. A complete shout out to her. I’ve also had support from some surprising places and this week have a meeting with some old friends which equal parts scares and excites me.
This month as well as just coping and trying to get through the work, I’ve tried to make time for Rhiannon. So as well as my usual nights in at hotels working and watching TV, I’ve been busy! I’ve been out for dinner with girlfriends twice, spent the day out and about including my monthly counselling appointment and waxing, I’ve just been braver and gone out of my hotel room on short errands as me rather than changing back before I open the door, I popped into Pink Punters on my own and had some interesting chats with drunk 19-year olds who were completely lovely. I’ve had to buy some new dresses because I’ve shrunk and a third of my wardrobe is too big now. I’m wearing dresses a lot more out because now I’ve lost weight (and discovered Spanx), I’m feeling so much more confident. Its still fragile, but it really is getting there.
The next month or so has even more planned and I promise I will blog as it happens — there will be a lot to share. But in the mean time, I thought you’d be interested in seeing some of the photos from the year so far…