Saturday, 28 January 2017

“I get by with a little help from my friends”

I apologise for my relentless cheerfulness in yet another happy blog.  Don’t worry, my normal sadness will resume at some point I’m sure.  My highs are high, but my lows are bad.   I can’t remember if I’ve said, but one of my favourite themes in films is friendship.  Of course I love romantic films as much as the next girl.  Who wouldn’t love the press conference in “Notting Hill” for example?  But for me, friendship movies trump that: Samwise and Frodo, Andy and Red, Han and Chewie, Woody and Buzz, ET and Eliot, Elle and Paulette - there are just so many. :o)

Anyway, I digress.  I sometimes feel very isolated and alone.  But then there are other times when I realise the richness of the friendships I have and know that they are enough to give me strength and to sustain me through the tough times ahead.

This week has been a case in point.  It opened with a Rhiannon dinner with a great friend, wine and laughter and feeling normal and accepted.  I resisted all bad foods and made sure I stuck to some great veg dishes.  The conversation flowed and no matter what nonsense I talked and the obsession I have with gender, we both enjoyed ourselves.  I also walked to and from the restaurant - and am really feeling amazingly comfortable doing this now.

Another night at Chams, in Nottingham, later in the week saw me meeting some new folks as well as seeing the second ever lovely Mrs Jones (the first being her wife).  A greater, warmer welcome couldn’t be asked for - as well as Lynn being genuinely as lovely as she sounds in her blog, the rest of the group are pretty special too.  We covered a range of topics and there is always laughter on tap.  Its amazing how great it is to sit amongst a group of trans-people knowing that they completely get me, my history, my fears and my worries.   And Lynn takes a mean photo!  My goodness, no-one’s captured me that well for ages!

The following day was a meeting that, if I’m completely honest was making me nervous through the week.  I recently reconnected with a couple who I’ve been friends with for a long time, but have not seen for 5-6 years.  I only told them about the fact that I am trans about 4-5 weeks ago.  I thought I would be rejected out of hand as they have a very strong Christian faith and that’s often the outcome.  But I honestly couldn’t have been more surprised and moved by the compassion, love and acceptance I received.  Before arriving, I suddenly had a panic moment: were they expecting me in female presentation?  They reassured me that they were and I arrived (see photo left).  3 hours later and two cups of tea and we were chatting like we’d never been apart and like I’d always been a woman.  He is a church leader and if every church group behaved like they do, they would win over most of our community (me included) in no time.  Our conversation was wide ranging and meaningful.  I didn’t want to leave, but knew that work beckoned, so I pulled myself away and hope that its not long until I see them again.

Alongside that, all week, people have been dipping in and out on Facebook, on the phone, on WhatsApp and email and I’ve felt surrounded by people who really do care about me.  I really am a very lucky girl - fun conversations, heart pouring out conversations and lots of joy.  And more meetings being set up all the time, so more time as me which is never a bad thing.


  1. The highs and lows of life's roller-coaster, eh? But, let's take a moment to enjoy the rushing breeze and views, rather than the grinding judder at the bottom. Cheery thoughts :-)

    It was lovely to see you at Chams and a genuine surprise. Well planned. The laughter thing: odd now you mention it, but it seems so obvious. The Chams lot laugh pleasantly and readily. Never cruelly, but inclusively, which is rather nice.

    Good to read your Friday meeting went well and that you enjoyed the snaps.

    PS: > Han and Chewie? Laugh it up, fuzzball. ;-)

    L x

    1. Absolutely never cruelly. You hear sometimes of a bitchyness in some places, but in Chams that is never ever true. Humble, caring and kind - just the place for people who are trying to accept themselves and who want to take their first teetering steps.

      And I can't resist either... my favourite is when I've skipped the waxing for a month: 'Will someone get this walking carpet out of my way' :o) lol.

      Rhi x

  2. Don't ever apologize for being happy and posting that happiness to your blog :-) I love to hear these stories of you being you.

    1. Thank you Tess, its terrible isn't it? I love being happy, but sometimes think it doesn't make for the more interesting blogs!! :o) I will, forthwith, be happy being me and being happy. x

  3. Be careful Rhiannon as that happiness could be contagious...

    1. I know - I better calm it down!! :o) x

  4. Brilliant to see continued happiness here, it suits you! Some great pictures as well!

    And you were around Notts? I'm not so far from there myself!

    Finally, yes, never apologise for relentless happiness, it's great to see, great to read and may end up sloshing around a bit!

    God bless,


    1. Hi Joanna - thank you 😊 And so great to hear from you. I'm in the area fairly frequently. Email me and I'll send some dates - it would be great to finally grab a drink together. x