Following my New Year Resolution that I was going to try to more regularly get out in Rhiannon-mode, I have made a good start to the year. The modest, but oh-so-measurable target is once a month at least. In January, I have been out once so far and spent an evening dressed -- clearly smashing the target already! :o) Today, I have spent a day in the office with some new skinny jeans and a nice new top (see picture below). My fantastic work colleague and I, even popped out to the Post Office. And do you know what? I’m so much happier and more relaxed for it. Being able to be Rhiannon keeps the dysphoria from the door.
The evening out was a brave one - for both the people I was with and for me, but also nearly didn’t happen. A couple of weeks ago, I’d set up dinner with two of my very lovely real girl pals, B and K [hereafter BK :o)]. They have known about Rhiannon for a long time and were just so accepting. Just before the meal, I decided to ask them if they would mind me coming as Rhiannon. Happily they said yes and the date was set. On the day, I had a real wobble. My super duper amazing hair had gone off to the wig-seller shop to be washed and reset, so I had to put on my secondary wig. When I got it out, it was in a bit of a tangle. I unpicked it and put it on, but I really didn’t feel at all comfortable. Now that I am used to my new hair, it just doesn’t suit me as well and doesn’t feel real. But I was determined to have my night out, so I just put up with it and went. I put on some cute jeans, my butterfly top with the camisole t-shirt underneath and a blue cardigan. On my feet, I wore my black block heeled boots.
After getting ready in Leeds, I set off and drove down South for dinner. When I arrived BK were wonderful. They just didn’t even bat an eyelid. I’m hugely conscious of the fact that I’m 5’11 and large (although I’ve lost a stone since Christmas!), so I stand out. But they were completely amazing and totally accepting. I noticed I got many stares during the course of the evening, but to be honest, I’m starting to be less bothered about that. I’m proud to be trans and others just need to get over it. I do my best to look presentable, appropriately dressed and to smell nice. If they can’t deal with anything beyond that, so be it. I’m not hurting or harming them in anyway at all. My only concern was always for my friends and after the evening, on Facebook, I asked whether they were uncomfortable at all and they really weren’t. In fact the lovely B said, “Not at all...it was just the 3 of us for dinner as usual.” More than I could have hoped. We had a lovely meal, chatted, admired B’s amazing new shoes and had fun.
I did have a moment...when I needed to use the toilet - which do I go into? BK said definitely the Ladies, so off I set. I breathed a sigh of relief when I went in and it was only me in there. But as I was leaving, a little girl (around 8) walked through the door and went wide eyed! I smiled at her and went on my way. I’m really not sure what she thought!
Two days later, I got the chance to spend Rhiannon time again. This time with my mum! Occasionally we get to do mother and daughter nights. It is just the best thing in the whole wide world when my mum calls me her daughter - it just feels so special. We had a lovely evening at her house - Chinese, wine and chat. I put on jeans and a t-shirt top and was very relaxed. We had such a nice time. I didn’t want to take it all off, but needs must. I also put on some nice pyjamas and my mum asked where I got them from as she wanted to buy some too. Result!!
So, as I said - a cracking start to the year. My wig arrived back yesterday too, so I’m now even more comfy. I’ve booked in time to go for a lesson in how to style it too, so it can only get better. I really am a very happy girl right now.