Monday, 16 December 2013
It's starting to look a lot like Christmas...
I’ve been out during the day. I’ve Sparkled. But a night out with civilians in a civilian venue has been beyond my level of bravery. But now, the gauntlet has been thrown down and all but one excuse has been removed. The team I work (apart from one I’m not sure about) are up for it. Not even just up for it, they’re keen.
The evening consists of drinks, dinner in a nice Indian restaurant followed by an evening of drinking with some of my favourite people on earth. I have an outfit ready: a purple dress, a lovely long wrap, heels and new wig. I even, for various reasons, have the easy option to have my make up professionally done before I go.
But I’m still scared. And I’ve started to put my own excuses in place. I’m fat. I’ll be a very obvious man in a dress. Do black patent leather shoes go with a purple dress. My photos look great, but that’s because they are not taken next to another real girl - you suddenly see that whilst I look feminine, proportionally, I’m massive. We are going into pubs where there are people who might mock me. Every possible fear is screaming out within me.
Face the fear and do it anyway? Or run screaming...?