Probably too much UK based humour already. We say that you wait ages for a bus and typically two always come along at the same time. Meaning you wait for ever and then two of what you want arrive at the same time. Anyway, two blogs in a few days of each other. There you go.
I probably should say something more flattering, like 'she's like the wind'. But you've seen my photos: she's like a bus is a much more accurate representation! (OK, I admit it, mild attempt to secure protestations at my vague beauty!) :o)
Wanted firstly to say thank you for the previous comments to my last blog. So nice to know that you are there and supporting me. Having a tough time at the moment as you could tell. Work is also quite mad right now, so I'm sat in a bar at Kings Cross in London waiting for a train. It is 8pm and I've been on the go, working, since 7am when I caught my train this morning. The Sauvignon Blanc beside me is deserved if you ask me.
The point of the blog is my current plague of very intense, sad moments. Not trying to be too dramatic, but in can tell when I'm lacking Rhiannon time. Things start to go a little bit - a lot - crazy. As I look round the bar, my heart sinks. Three pretty girls at 1 o'clock, another at 3 o'clock, two at 4 o'clock and yet another at 5 o'clock. Happy, comfortable, enjoying being the women they were born to be. And waves of sadness debilitate me, because I am not. Yesterday, at work, two very lovely ladies, looking great. A moment of unutterable sadness washes over me. But that time it didn't leave me either. I battled through the day without showing it. Without crying. With a brave, happy smiling face, because my job requires it. But inside I know that it's not what I am feeling. I wonder if my smile is spotted for the fake that it is. It doesn't reach the eyes. Or have I become so good at hiding that it is imperceptible to everyone. Except me. I know.
So when I talk of stopping, I know that I am talking like a mad person. It isn't possible. And then I remember them. My family. Those who love me. And the vicious circle starts again. And it really is vicious.