“As I write this, I realise my train of thought is in the same direction as my last post. I’m just looking for a way to cope. I’m just looking at the same problem again from a different angle. I’m wasting my mental energy on a problem I’ve already solved, but that I’m afraid to take action on.”
I now know what I need to do, but honestly, I’m scared to do it. My last post on how to cope received some elegant and helpful responses from some very kind ladies. Together with my mulling, I realise there are five things I need to do urgently:
- Seek professional support – my doctor is a good place to start and I think they’ll be able to help.
- Find people to talk to about it – ‘nebby’ (Midland-ish for nosy – who knew?) bloggers and other people who I know care about me.
- Go to a support group and talk to other people in my situation. Does anyone know if such groups mind having really fat girls attending their meetings? Most seem more glamourous, skinny and chique than I could even dream of being.
- Find ways of incorporating Rhiannon in without it necessarily being too obvious.
- Cut down my work and find time to relax properly. I’ve been overdoing it for far too long now.
Lynn Jones captured it well, as she tends to, with: “it's not going to be bad forever.... but you may have to step out of your comfort zone to get out of the mire”. That’s the problem and therein too, the rub. All five of those things are outside of my current comfort zone and I’ve never been well known for being able to ‘man up’ to the challenge.
I’ve cogitated on the advice for a while now. Tried to find ways of getting different advice that was easier to do. Ran in and out of the heavy storm a couple of times. But never really stood out in it properly and got soaked to the skin. I guess it’s just about putting one foot in front of the other and to keeping doing that until you aren’t angry and frustrated anymore and that instead you are in a happy place. Not sure that place exists at the moment, but its time to find out.