Thursday, 28 June 2012

Taking Control


No, this is not a review of Christian Grey’s twitchy palm.  Although if you really want a review of that I’ll happily supply it.  I have only read the first two - I’m making progress on the third and have enjoyed them quite a lot! :o)  I’m really surprised not to have seen more chatter on the books in the t-forums of the world.  Maybe we prefer our chick lit more romantic and refined and less mummy porn?  Or perhaps I’m just looking in the wrong places?

As for the actual topic of conversation, I have been thinking a lot recently about why I seem to have no ability to take control of my life.  I consider myself to be relatively bright, I’m certainly driven and like getting good results from my activities.  But when it comes to me personally, I always lower the priority and absolutely NEVER push myself to do the things I should.

Take weight for example.  I’ve been trying to lose weight for several months now.  As a yo-yo dieter, I’ve lost stones and stones of the stuff in the past, but at the moment?  Just impossible.  More than that, how about exercise?  Oh, the gyms I have known.  And at times, I’ve even been fit.   But try to get off my unusually large, but tastefully formed bottom to join up has proved to be an act of goliathic (is that a word?) proportions.  Nearly as big a problem as my bottom come to think of it.  And consequently I’ve failed.  I even signed up to a sponsored thing to force me to do it.  Except now I’m staring down the barrel of a sponsored thing when I’m still fat and unfit.

I know that I have a weensy teensy tendency towards procrastination, but girls, this is ridiculous.  Don’t get me wrong, its not in every area of my life.  I hold down two busy jobs for goodness sakes.  I could do both of them better, don’t get me wrong, but I get a lot achieved in my life.  But when its me and its my personal stuff, I just don’t do it.  Even when I know I should and that I’m unhealthy.  I just can’t work out what is stopping me.  Even the thought of smaller dresses doesn't motivate me - after all, there are loads of camping shops around for me to buy new tents.  I can stay fat and just go to a camping shops instead of my usual FatgirlsRus shop.

So I guess what I’m asking for, nay, crying out for, is your insights into what you do to take control?  Telling me to woman up, get a grip and don’t be a fat lazy cow might be what you feel like say, but if you could be more constructive, please do so.  I wouldn’t want the fact that I’ve run to the toilet crying with a bottle of wine and a carrier bag of chocolate to rest on your conscience.  Plus that would mean your advice defeated its own purpose.  And that would be wrong.

Please help,

Fat of England x

3 comments:

  1. I am not sure what clicked inside me but something did. Perhaps it was a thought that I I needed to value myself. Self wallowing did me no favours and whilst I still suffer from a low esteem I am proud of what I have achieved.

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  2. I faff, therefore I... umm... might... no... am? Are? Yes, am. :-)

    Motivation, well there's a thing. Like cool, it's easy when you've got it (apparently), but illusive when you're seeking it. All I can say is, don't do it for anyone except yourself. Does that make sense? You have to want it (oo-er), otherwise, it ain't gonna happen.

    You can do the weight loss. Hell, Mrs Jones has lost over 3 stone this last year (bless her) and both of us feel better for eating more healthily (more veggies, less carbs). If it's any help, the website/app MyFitnessPal lets you log what you're eating and coupled with exercise, you can balance your diet yourself. No fancy system, no classes: just you, good food and exercise.

    In fact, you get to the point where when you're under your daily target, the choice of a walk and then a choccy bar is very tempting. Exercise + reward. :-)

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  3. For me, it was bad numbers at my last physical. The jury is still out on whether I can keep it up, but I'm portioning my snacks now, and I've been doing walk/runs for three weeks. I kept telling myself I wanted to do these things, but the numbers made it real. Ah, sweet inspiration...

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